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Tips on Living Large by Susan Weber, President & Founder of GrandStyle.com You CAN Survive The Holidays With Grand Style! by Susan Weber, President of GrandStyle.com  You've
spent all year working on your self-esteem and developing your grand style.
Now, don't lose it in the often stress-filled last months of the year!Here are a few tips to get you, your self-esteem and your style, through the holidays. Don't let your dress size get in the way of your holiday style. 1. Not comfortable on the ladder hanging holiday house lights or decorating your Christmas tree? Hire a neighborhood high school kid for an hour and let him or her create your show of holiday spirit. You'll get your decorations ... and he or she will make some holiday dollars. Don't go without the makings of a special holiday memory just because it is uncomfortable for you to implement! 2. Have a holiday portrait taken of yourself to include in your holiday mailings. You don't have to spend a lot -- look for discounted sitting fees around the holidays or get an appointment at Penny's or Sears. (No, you don't have to sit on a little chair with Elmo or use the same holiday props and backdrops as the 4 year old kids!) Be sure to wear something you want to see yourself in for 20+ years - not just something that makes you look “slim.” (Yes, the camera makes us look heavier; but, if we're already plus or super sized, what's 10 more pounds?) This is not the time to try a new hair style or color. Above all, be sure the portrait reflects your style. Use a formal photographer for a more formal pose, or ask a photographer for a more casual outdoor pose. Have fun with the photo -- wear a hat or take your favorite pet! 3. Looking forward to holiday concerts; but, can't deal with the cramped seating? Consider matinee performances (they are often not as fully attended, so you more room to “spread out”) and always look for aisle seating. Still not comfortable? Ask for a chair to be placed in the handicapped seating area of the theatre. 4. Make holiday airline traveling easier. Reserve an aisle seat. Avoid the back row of the plane (the seats don't recline.) Take your own airline seat belt extender. Let your style shine through the holidays. 5. Buy holiday clothes now while the selection is good. QVC (or watch their cable TV channel, Lane Bryant 6. Looking for that perfect red or black size 32 dress for the office party? Check out Silhouettes. 7. Red or ivory shirts are great to “holiday-up” a pair of black slacks or a black skirt already in your closet. Add a pair of velveteen skimmer flats from Kmart or Wal-mart 8. Found a beautiful holiday pendant but the chain is too long? Hang it on a velvet ribbon or cord from the fabric store. 9. Don't be afraid to create memories that incorporate your unique style. Confetti in your holiday cards. Bake dog and cat treats (holiday magazines have the recipes). Give indulgence balls as hostess or office gifts. (Just fill craft store mesh ornaments with a scented tea candle, a few Hershey kisses, a bubble bath capsule, a tiny sachet pillow, a pair of dice, a few stickers or a gift certificate for ice cream or a bagel or a burger.) 10. Don't let the after Christmas sales get the best of your Grand Style -- or your common sense! Remember, if it didn't look good on you when it was full price, it's not going to look any better when it's half price. It's hard to show your style when you are stressed out. 11. Avoid the malls. Go once to see the decorations and to give yourself a “shot” of holiday spirit. Then, come home and use catalogs, the internet or television shopping. Don't forget to try their “bill to/ship to” option and have your selections shipped directly to your family and friends. Some even gift wrap! 12. Having multiple get togethers at your house? Have them all within a 4-5 day period and serve the same menu and wear the same outfit at each. Then, you only have to cook, shop and clean the house once! 13. Don't diet. Besides the fact that diets are bad for your health (and you'll gain the weight all back -- plus more!), this is not the time to try a new eating routine. As with the other 11 months of the year, concentrate on eating healthy. Try snacking on something healthy before you leave for the holiday party -- It will make it easier to resist that 5th piece of fudge. Your dentist may be out the New Year cavity payment; but, your healthy body with thank you for it! 14. Set practical objectives for family gatherings. You can't solve 20 years of family problems in one dinner conversation. When Uncle Harry harasses you about your weight, tell him “Thanks for caring” and then change the subject. 15. Don't wait until January to get your stressed out body moving. Start walking. Put your favorite holiday tunes on the Walkman and walk ... don't stroll ... walk. Around the block. Around the mall. Or, walk in place in front of your TV - but keep moving. Movement is a great stress reliever. Happy Holidays! Click here for Susan's past articles.
Affordable Chic  by
Stan Hess, co-manager ofLeatherBagsOnline.com Ask The Accessory Guy |
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Dress Me Now by Janet Behmer  Co-author,
with Shirley Pierce of Dress Me Now: How to Make Your Wardrobe Behave,
the book that's changing the way women think about clothes and themselves.Quick and Easy Ways To Look Cool And Beat The Summer Heat It's not easy to look chic and fresh when you're in the middle of a
summer meltdown. Some days the mere mention of the word 'humidity' can
make your hair frizz, your make-up run and your clothes wrinkle. If you need to stock up on items for your summer fashion first-aid
kit, read on. SLEEVELESS HATS Editor's Note: Janet and Shirley 30+ years of fashion and image-making experience between them. Janet has spent over 13 years as an on-camera host and buyer for home shopping channels. Janet worked with major designer-labels where she learned about fabrics, cut and style and finding the right fashions for customers. Shirley started on the fashion mecca of Seventh Avenue and then moved onto Madison Avenue where she worked behind and in front of the camera. She learned the tricks of image-making in over one hundred commercials and has taught those skills to actors at the Screen Actors' Guild. Janet and Shirley's collaboration has spawned a website, a line of clothing and a fashion book for real women with real bodies called Dress Me Now. Their fashion advice appears in e-zines throughout the Internet. Click here for Janet and Shirley's past articles.
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 Click here for more info and to order Click here for a free preview of Dress Me Now: How to Make Your Wardrobe Behave. |
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Bountiful Living By Bonnie Bernell, Ed. D.  July,
lazy summer days, with time to reflect . . .Bonnie Bernell is a psychologist in private practice in California and is the author of Bountiful Women: Large Women's Secrets for Living the Life They Desire. This is a celebratory book of psychological and practical strategies large women [defined as wearing size 14 and above] have found or developed to handle challenging situations. For people wanting to have the fullest life at every size . . from www.bountifulwomen.com and Bonnie Bernell. In the last two weeks, friends of mine announced they are having twin girls, three others celebrated their birthdays, one new house, and three untimely deaths of people aged 14, 42 and 58. The spectacular Japanese maple tree in front of my house, probably ninety years old, has died, and will come down in about a week. There is so much emotion about these experiences. Transitions are a part of our lives. They are reminders of life's changing path. These changes are both life affirming and can be sad, even depressing. Yet, each change reminds us of the fundamental question: *Are you living the life you want?* Are you spending your time with people who are good for you? Are you doing what matters to you? Are you taking time to be? What counts to you? Many people who have doubts or concerns about their bodies define themselves by how their body is doing. If their weight is approaching where they want to be, this is a good day. If it is going in the wrong direction, this is a bad day. "If only . . . " is a common refrain. If only I was . . . (fill in the blank) thin, thinner, more careful, exercising more, more accepting of myself, more whatever. The "bad" days are not much fun. The "good" days are positive. How do you make this day good for yourself? Transitions can be times to pause, take stock, consider, reflect, and then choose what is next for you. What would you do with yourself if you found out, today, that you had three to eight years to live? What would you do if something else was about to change in your life? How much risk can you tolerate taking? Are you someone who will invest in the stock market as it fluctuates more than we are used to experiencing? Are you someone who would rather sit by the sidelines and see where prices stabilize? Is that how you live your life, that is, do you take risks, try out the hoped for, or wait/"weight" until something is different, better, other than it is now? If you are one way, is it time for a change? *Are you spending time with people who appreciate you?* So much of our lives is influenced by the people who populate our lives. We often fall into relationships that are convenient rather than choose. When you imagine facing a transition in your life -- the wonderful joyful times that each of us are fortunate to experience or the times of loss and depletion -- who will be there for and with you? Who will sit with you if you, or someone in your family, is ill? Who will understand that you did not call them back when they wanted that from you? Who will be happy for you that you got a promotion, met someone with whom you might have a romance? Who loves you for all that you are? With whom can you truly be yourself? Being yourself, even if it is crabby, irritable, sleepy, and messy is all part of being a person. If you can hang out with your friends, as my dear pal, Deb Burgard of www.BodyPositive.com, calls "non demanding companionship," you are doing well. A few months ago, I was waiting for the results from some scary medical tests -- which have all come back with everything being fine -- and I went to hang out with Deb. I don't even exactly know what we did and did not do, but I know the time went swiftly and I felt cared for and supported. Having some friend or friends who offer non demanding companionship is life affirming! *Take a chance and meet someone new, however, wherever.* This past month, I had an opportunity to meet a woman whose work makes life better for all of us. Susan Weber, owner and developer of www.GrandStyle.com, asked me to meet her for lunch. We had never met, never talked on the telephone, and had simply had a few email messages back and forth. When we met, we were just like old pals. We talked about who we are and where we have been. If either of us had been having doubts about our worth or how another person would see us, we might have opted out of what turned out to be just grand. It was easy, friendly, supportive and I definitely look forward to the next time. Is there someone in your world who you would like to meet? Get to know better? Talk to at a personal level? Call them, now! So many times we make excuses about why we cannot do something that would make life better. *Are you doing what matters to you?* In big and small ways, we re-create our lives each day, each week. If you were to plan the perfect afternoon, evening or day for yourself, what elements would you include. If you are bountiful, what would make you the absolutely most comfortable, at ease, relaxed, energized, or whatever you want. What have you always wanted to do, or wondered about doing, or even watched someone else do that seemed exciting, pleasurable, entertaining, enlightening, soothing, or . . .Go for it. Perhaps you have wanted to sit and have a banana split at the local ice cream store with whipped cream and a cherry on top. You have been hesitant because of what you imagined might be other people's responses, or your own inner critic. It is summer, if that is your perfect pleasure, who not? That banana split is not a problem unless there are health factors you must consider. Otherwise, slurp and savor. Or, maybe, just maybe, it would warm your heart to wear a halter top to a summer party even though those breast of yours aren't what you think they should be. Hey, summer is for everyone. Do what is fun, uplifting, colorful or simply makes you smile inside. How about candles around your bathtub? Or, would it be a great treat to surprise your friend who is feeling blue with candles all around her tub? Or, floating flower candles in her bath water? Imagine. Create. Consider. *What counts to you?* Choose something that you want and make it happen before the summer is over. I have saved special notes and cards that people have written to me via email or paper since Bountiful Women was published. I have said that I want to take time to read each one, at one time -- a feast of appreciation--and now I have planned just the time, and just the space. What would be so honoring, self-loving, enhancing, that you cannot even imagine giving it as a gift to yourself? Do it. On New Year's day this past year, as usual, I was with some friends. We all wrote a note to ourselves and then put small notes in each other's envelopes. One person took them all and mails them to the person either when they need a lift or because it is the right time, according to her. What about including that as a ritual for a summer gathering? Send the notes at the holidays when people often lose track of themselves. What counts to you? Be in touch. Until next month, wishing you a bountiful life! Bonnie Bernell Ideas for living the fullest life at every size. No more "weighting" until . . . ©2002, Bonnie Burnell, All rights reserved. Editor's Note: To learn more about Bonnie
Bernell, her work and her workshops, check out her websites at www.bonniebernell.com
and www.bountifulwomen.com
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Resources for a Great Life by Judy Sullivan, author of Size Wise, the great plus-size resource guide You Expect Me to Sit In THAT? Over 50% of the adult population of the United States is “overweight.” This is a fact that has been well established by many studies. We are told that businesses look to studies to determine just what they need to do to make profits. How is it then that these same businesses don't figure out that the seating they provide to over half of their customer base is often completely inadequate? Everywhere we go - from theaters to offices, theme parks to airplanes - finding a comfortable place to sit is often impossible. And it isn't just fat people who are feeling the pinch. Even the average-sized person can come away with bruised hips from narrow accommodations. For instance, the average seat size in a movie theater is 21" square. Rows measure 38" from seat back to seat back. Many theaters are even more cramped. Cramped seating in public facilities is one of the major reasons larger people begin to withdraw from getting out and enjoying their lives. It becomes too much of a hassle or embarrassment, so we choose to stay home. It doesn't have to be that way. If you want to go someplace but are unsure of finding comfortable seating, call ahead to ask what kind of seating is available. I open the conversation with, “I'm a fat woman and need to determine if the seating you provide your customers will accommodate me.” You can choose your own level of honesty here, but be specific about your needs. Ask: If the business you wish to visit doesn't have adequate seating, speak to the manager. Explain that you would love to come spend money there, but you are not being provided a comfortable environment. Tell him what you need, point out the business they are losing by not catering to simple basics, and ask him to let you know when you may visit his establishment. If the manager doesn't take care of this, follow up with a letter to his superior. This is personal activism that will help not only you, but other large people in your community. Below is a listing of some restaurants and some general information about their seating. Some of the measurements were provided by the corporate headquarters; others are random samplings.
Blimpie's - Chairs (armless, 16") Blue Boar - Booths (18" clearance) and chairs (armless, 16.5") Bob Evans Farms - Booths and counter seats (16" clearance) and chairs (armless, 17") Burger King - Booths (16" clearance) and chairs (15") Carl's Jr. - Booths (17.5" clearance) and a few chairs of questionable stability Casa Bonita - Booths and chairs (armless, 15") Chesapeake Bay Seafood House - Booths (18" clearance) and chairs (18") Chick-fil-A - Chairs (armless, 18", most affixed to table with 22" clearance) Crystal's - Booths and chairs (armless, 15") Denny's - Booths (16" clearance), chairs with arms on request IHOP (Formerly International House of Pancakes) - Booths (16" clearance) and chairs (arms, 19") Kentucky Fried Chicken - Chairs (armless, 16") Long John Silver's - Booths and chairs (18") McDonald's - Booths and chairs (attached to tables with 17" clearance) Pizza Hut - Booths and chairs (17") Red Lobster - Booths and chairs (20" wide, 15" deep) Taco Bell - Booths (17" clearance) Editors' Note: Check out Judy's Archived Articles in the Grand Style Library for more resource tips by Judy. |
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Are there any special rules
for selecting a bag for a larger woman? I'm real confused about what
size, strap length, style I should carry. 
It depends on who you are,
and what you want to achieve. If you are a self-centered person, and
couldn't care less for what others think, you'll certainly find ways
of pleasing... yourself. If, on the other hand, you care for how others
see you, read on.